It’s Not As Uncertain As Investing In The Stock Market

[postlink] http://drotesi-miey.blogspot.com/2012/03/its-not-as-uncertain-as-investing-in.html[/postlink]

Me:  So I’ve started using “hair tonic,” and I’m noticing the development of my incipient “Reagan Neck” more and more every day.  I should find out if they still make Geritol.  Or at least start taking Centrum Silver.
Dan:  Do you really worry about it?
Me:  My Reagan Neck?  Well, I don’t worry about it, but I do find it distressing.
Dan:  Not your neck vagina, just getting older in general and planning for retirement.
Me:  I have a retirement plan:  I’ll have a heart attack and die alone.  More specifically, I’ll have a heart attack at the top of the stairs at home, fall down the stairs and break my neck, and lie in a crumpled heap at the bottom of them, paralyzed and slowly dying over the course of days, and it will take a week before anyone notices.
Dan:  At least you have a plan.
Me:   Oh, you have to these days.